A Model Life

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It is not the way you look that is important, but the way you feel about yourself. Every day billboards, television ads, magazines, and the everyday Joe Shmoe, are brainwashing today’s society to believe that they have to look as perfect and pristine as a supermodel. To tell you the truth, with out all of they layers of caked on makeup, the perfectly hardened in place hair, and the expensively tight clothing, supermodels aren’t as perfect and pristine as they want us to believe.


In the summer of 000, I decided to pursue my dream of becoming a fashion model. I did all the research on local agencies and came across one that was willing to meet me.


The “interview” was only a couple of days after I called. I showed up looking like I just stepped off the runway, and they decided to take me the minute I stepped foot in the door. My first gig with them was at a big modeling convention where you go and strut your stuff in front of all the top agencies from across the nation. Let me tell you, the feeling you get when you are walking down the runway with all the lights and eyes on you and walking perfectly in step with the heart thumping music, is a feeling I will never forget. I felt as if I was on top of the world!


After the convention, my agency told me that I was too short to walk the runway at a fashion show and that I had to lose weight. Unfortunately, I weighted 105lbs and was 5’5”, and was already underweight for my height and age. Nevertheless, I listened to my agency, and stopped eating completely, and only drinking water.





I denied that I was anorexic until my best friend had me stand in from of a mirror, only wearing my bikini, and take a close look at my self and see that I was literally skin and bones. I looked like I was extremely sick and like I was on the verge of death.


The last gig I ever did was a hair show for Wella, the number two beauty company in the world, the number one being L’Oreal. That was a lot of fun. I had at least four people messing with my hair, makeup, and clothes, all at one time. Unfortunately, the things they did to my hair ruined it. In a span of two days my hair was stripped of it’s color, dyed, bleached, dyed again, permed, crimped, and a whole lot more that I’m not going to ramble on and on about.


When that gig was over, my agency told me I still had to lose more weight when I weighted at most 100 lbs, and that I had to cut my hair. That is where I drew the line. If I lost any more weight I would have gone in to the hospital and be fed through my nose. I did not want that and no one, not family, not friends, not even I was going to cut my long hair. No way, no how! To top it off I was not going to change my looks or myself for anyone, not even my parents or my boyfriend. I realized that it is not worth it.


No matter what someone says, you should not have to change anything about yourself in order to live up to the media and society’s perception of beauty. It is not worth it to risk your health and lose your self-respect just to fit in. Nothing can ever change the fact that you are who you are, and you will be that way forever.





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