We are ready to represent the best custom lab reports writing assistance that can cope with any task like contrasting "the bluest eye" with dysfunctional families even at the eleventh hour. The matter is that we posses the greatest base of expert writers. Our staff of freelance writers includes approximately 300 experienced writers are at your disposal all year round. They are striving to provide the best ever services to the most desperate students that have already lost the hope for academic success. We offer the range of the most widely required, however, not recommended for college use papers. It is advisable to use our examples like contrasting "the bluest eye" with dysfunctional families in learning at public-education level. Get prepared and be smart with our best essay samples cheap and fast! Get in touch and we will write excellent custom coursework or essay especially for you.
In modern western culture, it is widely acknowledged that the family is in serious trouble. By now, you’ve heard the term “dysfunctional family” hundreds, even thousands of times. You know how such families behave. And, sadly, you have come to fear that the word “dysfunctional” describes-or one day will describe your relationship with the people you love most.
Despite the odds, you desire to have family relationships that are fully loving and functional. But in a society in which the family has largely lost its way are such hopes realistic, or simply an impossible dream?
Strong, loving families do exist today. But if you want to establish healthy patterns in your own family, you’ll need to learn how to recognize and apply the qualities they share.
What is so damaging about being raised by wounded parents is that we incorporate the messages we got from their behavior and role modeling into our relationship with ourselves. At the core of our being is a little child who feels unworthy and unlovable because our parents were wounded. In this society, in a general sense, the men have been traditionally taught to be primarily aggressive, the “John Wayne” syndrome, while women have been taught to be self-sacrificing and passive. But that is a generalization; it is entirely possible that you came from a home where your mother was John Wayne and your father was the self-sacrificing martyr.
Write my paper for me!!!
The point that I am making is that our understanding of Codependence has evolved to realizing that this is not just about some dysfunctional families-our very role models, our prototypes, are dysfunctional. Our traditional cultural concepts of what a man is, of what a woman is, are twisted, distorted, almost comically bloated stereotypes of what masculine and feminine really are. It is somehow appropriate- in a sick, twisted, kind of way-that Earth Day and Mother’s Day are so close together. Civilized society has been raping our Mother Earth for as it has had the technology to do so. Women have been raped, not just physically by men, but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually by the belief systems of “civilization” both western and eastern since the dawn of history.
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. How sad that Peacola’s father’s only way to being physically intimate with his daughter was abusive. How sad that Cholly has never been able to own the sadness of life so that he could feel the joy of it.
People have a great deal of difficulty understanding how family fights and ruptures can occur to want to give you some basic understanding of some of the trauma you may have experienced with your families origin. These can also occur in adulthood with your aging parents, your children, or any other relationship where the ties that bind can also be the ties that strangle, choke, suffocate and punish. There are basically two categories of crimes of which sins a dysfunctional family may resent you for. These are separation and individuation.
Many people need help in managing their families of origin. From adult children of alcoholics to adult children of parents who love them to much, many of us in the sandwich generation become overwhelmed with the task of managing our extended families. Symptoms of the family feud include depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, difficulty eating, sadness, confusion and rage. Death and taxes are inevitabilities and so are family feuds.
Separation and individuation are normal and healthy phases of infancy psychological process which are begun in the second year of life and are reworked throughout childhood, adolescence and adulthood.
Separation relates to personal autonomy, independence, self assertion, and freedom of choice. It is characterized in early childhood by the use of the word “No”. when a two year old says “no” to his or her mother he or she is exercising his inborn strivings to separate from the mother.
Individuation relates to identity, uniqueness, having your own interests, points or view, likes and dislikes. It is characterized in early childhood by the words “me” and “Mine”. Dysfunctional families need to punish both these struggles in their children. Often those who choose separation and individuation are seen as traitors to the family. Autonomy and health are seen in these families as moving too far away. Individuation, that is having your own identity point of view, is also seen by these families as criminal and rejecting of them. I have often seen shocking, rejection of people who have become sober by their family origin. They are treated as rejecting and abandoning by families when they have a hard time with separation or they are treated as if they are deceiving and degrading their families by families who have greater difficulty with individuation.
This happens when the ties that bind are the ties that strangle.
In “The Bluest Eye”, the Breedlove’s were quit the dysfunctional family. Starting with the parents, Cholly and Pauline and their childhood. They then transferred the cycle and passed in onto their children with little or no remorse. Everyone needs to care for and be cared by others. This need never leaves us. Mrs. Breedlove cared for her children as best as she could in her mind. All of us have the power and the control over our lives, minds and bodies. Cholly had no control over his own life so he raped Peacola, but by doing that Peacola totally lost control on her body, her life, and most of all her mind.
We can choose our own network of friends and family members, and choose who to care for and be cared for by people who are more capable of giving and receiving love. Many people who aren’t yet skilled at caring for other people, have learned to care for themselves by caring for pets. Such as Geraldine and the great affection she had for her pet cat. She showed more emotion to her pet then her husband or son. Most all the characters of “The Bluest Eye” that were not succeeding in a least one are of their lives often felt hopeless. First we need to identify the basic needs of human beings so we can understand what drives us to do things we do.
In conclusion the term “dysfunctional Families” has been used and abused so much over the years that it is hard to define. In order to define a dysfunctional family, one must first know what a functional or healthy family is. While there is a lot of differences in what is normal for families, there are some common traits found in families that are considered to be healthy, and other traits found in families experiencing excessive stress which can lead to “dysfunctional” behavior. Without talking about culture, economic, or social consideration into account, the following information highlights some correct traits of healthy families and warnings signs that a family may be under too much stress and danger of becoming “dysfunctional”.
The family is open to others from outside of the immediate family system. They allow outsiders to enter they system and members are allowed to go outside of the system for help when needed. Parents set dear boundaries that are fare. Parents assume the role of primary caregivers and children are secure of their role as siblings, children and individuals. The family recognizes the stressful situations that are inevitable and temporary, so they recognize that the stress can be positive if handled appropriately. The family works together to minimize stress and they focus on their strengths as a family as individuals. The family works together to find solutions to problems and their energy is focused on solutions, not of blame. Family members focus on what is controllable and they make the best of situations over which they have little or no control of. The family develops and revises rules to deal effectively with day to day life. When they are under stress they work together and revise existing rules and evaluate the results. Finally, family members recognize the difference between the symptoms of stress and the sources of the stress. They address the sources of the stress and try to eliminate as much a possible.
Now that we have an idea of what constitutes a healthy family and some common stressors, we can look at ways to prevent a family from becoming “dysfunctional” during times of change and stress. If we could control or change the behavior of others, our efforts to stop one from drinking, using drugs, gambling would have worked long ago. I tell people that if I could control what others do or think, everyone would be happy, healthy and financially secure. Unfortunately I don’t have that kind of control over anyone but myself.
Forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. Peacola could not do that and I do not blame her. That’s what drove her partial to her insanity and losing her baby had a part to do with it to. Maybe if she could have forgotten, the story would of ended up not being as mortifying as it was.
Mind that the sample papers like contrasting "the bluest eye" with dysfunctional families presented are to be used for review only. In order to warn you and eliminate any plagiarism writing intentions, it is highly recommended not to use the essays in class. In cases you experience difficulties with essay writing in class and for in class use, order original papers with our expert writers. Cheap custom papers can be written from scratch for each customer that entrusts his or her academic success to our writing team. Order your unique assignment from the best custom writing services cheap and fast!
No comments:
Post a Comment